Curse You
by Irime
Summary: (One-shot, DuoHeero) Love's not always a pleasant thing. Sometimes, it's time to say goodbye. And so one day Duo writes Heero a letter...


This is one of my not-so-new pieces. Short, yeah. Inspired by the song called "Proklínám"( not mine, not sure whose. Oh well8o)). Sad, very very bitter... what can I say? Life's not always sunny..._

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_My Dearest. _

_Hm, isn't it ironic, to call you that? I mean, surely you already know this is farewell-letter. Yes, that's true. My farewell to you, to all my hopes, to all the pain you've caused me... I wish I could say it's my farewell to that cursed emotion called love but we both know it's not possible. You've reached your goal, managed to make the aching little pathetic creature of me, lovesick teenager from those trashy Harlequin romance novels! Oh God! I hope you're happy now 'cause if not, then there's this awful question lingering in the air - why? Why did you do this to me if it doesn't satisfy you? Or is it just not enough? Would you like to hurt me more just so you can feel like a king or what? _

_Oh, how I wish I could hate you! Things would be so much easier... But I'm afraid I wasn't meant to have anything the easy way. But you know what? I swear I'll try. I'll try to find at least one little grain of hatred in the depths of my soul, one little grain and then, I'll build it. Slowly but surely I'll find a way to achieve _my_ goal. I'll _learn_ how to hate you, or at least despise you! You don't deserve my feelings, I shouldn't have give any of them to you, yet I did. And now I'm ready to gift you with another feeling of mine. Are _you_ ready to receive it? 'Cause I think this one's not exactly what you've expected, demanded. _

_I curse you! Have you _any_ idea how much you've affected me? Oh no, you don't need to answer. Of course you do, why else would you do it? But... look, I don't have any ilusions of Emotional You left, not only once you proved they're all stupid and shortsighted, but still... Are you really so big bastard that maybe you didn't even realise how deep under my skin you crawled? I'm sure my next words will please you, although that's the last thing I want to do, but I just must say it 'cause I guess you should know it - I'm disgusted by myself! Disgusted by my inability to get rid of my feelings and needs! _

_I curse those lips of yours. How every time I think about them I feel almost physical pain, so big desire to taste them, to feel them, touch them. Drown in them and their rough kisses... And I curse myself for this weakness! _

_I curse your icy eyes. Those indifferent dead glaziers which make me shiver everytime I lost myself in them. Y'know, they say the eyes are the windows to one's soul... I've never believed it but now I'm slowly realising that maybe it's true. I really should've paid attention to it earlier, before I lost my mind and fell for you so badly. Because your eyes truly reflect your soul - all those snow plains lying there, not a single sunray to warm and melt them, just glimmering, beautiful, blinding and freezing cold snow. Nothing more... _

_I wish you loneliness. Yes, it may sound cruel at first, but y'know what? I don't think you'd see any difference. So be lonely, all by yourself in your own emotionless world. There'll no longer be anyone to shed bitter tears for you, for what you've done again; noone to stay by your side, to help you when you need it, to share with you those few moments of pure happiness you may be capable of experiencing. Like that day we've been out early, just watching waking of the sun... everything was perfect... I was truly happy, just to be there, with you by my side... and I thought you were happy as well... Were you? I still want to think that I wasn't mistaken then. _

_I hope you'll never see such a breathtaking daybreak again and if so, then I wish you'll be alone there. _

_I wish you'll be alone for the rest of your life. _

_Maybe then you'll understand how I feel right now...

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Mm-hm, that's it. Thanks for reading; you may leave me nice, not so nice or even plainly awful review, if you feel like it.8o) Just so I'll know what you REALLY think.;o) 


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